I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
