Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
