Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
