What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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