Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Me too!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
