u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
