; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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