your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
