I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
