then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
