Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
