I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
