I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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