We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think a kid would responsible me up
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
