Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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