I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
