My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
