I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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