K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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