I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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