alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
