I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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