I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
