Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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