i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
