So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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