How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
