I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
God, I missed his penis.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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