Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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