Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
