I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
