UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
