He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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