why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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