you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
