He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
