The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
