Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The best revenge is premature balding
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
