whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
