i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
