Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
