STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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