okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
