she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
