okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
