She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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