And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I understand Curling. That high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
