I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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