Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
