my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
